• So in the last minutes of the episode 16 Kaori (while in bed) tells the next thing to Kousei: 

    "Want to commit double suicide with me?" 

    I know for the dubs it can be a little bit off and the real meaning can change, so i read more about it and I think the meaning can also change from "double" to "lovers"; "lovers suicide" in the Japanese culture is used to describe the practice of lovers to suicide (da) when they couldn’t get to be together and marry for social/familiar reasons. 

    I am not sure if I am doing right by bringing this now, but I can’t let go the anime, even I don’t know why I am holding this hard to it. 

    So I have a theory here and this is going to sound harsh and maybe cruel, but I believe that this line:  "Want to commit double suicide with me?"  Was a declaration of love to Kousei. And the more I think about the more it makes sense (or so i want it to make): the not "fitting" into Kouseis Group of friends(social circle), Kaori didn’t wanted to destroy the relationships between Kousei and Tsubaki as she knew she was not going to be around for much time, and by saying it directly to Kousei she loved him, at the end she would had only teared apart his heart (driving him into a bigger grudge) so by saying to commit suicide with her I think she was saying:  "I love you,  but your heart will die when I die"(ending his life as well, o so I believe). I know they where 15 years old, but who knows, maybe Kousei got the memo and understood, explaining why he doesn’t cry when reading the letter. 

    Tell me what you think. And thank you for reading. XD here take a potato. 

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    • Shigatsu isn't the only anime that mentions a suicide pact between lovers--Kimagure Orange Road comes to mind, although that was a case of plain misunderstanding. I think Kaori was just referencing Masahiro Mita's Ichigo Doumei--if you look carefully, you'll see a copy on Kaori's wheelchair. Just as Kaori quotes from Charlie Brown, she also quotes from Ichigo Doumei, specifically Naomi, Ichigo Doumei's tragic heroine. Naomi also says "Let's commit double suicide" to Ryoichi, the piano-playing protagonist who parallels Kousei. She also quotes Naomi again when she says “You really are a strange person. You came to the hospital to visit me, and yet all this time, you haven’t said a word?”

      As for not crying when he was reading her farewell letter, I think it was a sign he was coping with the sorrow--the pain might never completely vanish, but he will emerge from the experience stronger and wiser, and one can hope his music will become more beautiful, colored as it is by sadness as well as joy. And though it, Kaori will also still live, because like they said, "I exist in you," and the memory of their days together will inform, mold, and shape each note Kousei has yet to play.

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    • Best~

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    • A FANDOM user
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